Yes, you. The person reading this - and me of course. You need to accept yourself right now. You need to tell yourself that you accept yourself and love the person you are in this moment. Now. Not tomorrow. Not when you’re 20 pounds lighter. Right now. In your pj's, without your make up and with your bed-head. Accept everything. Say it out loud. Tell your hands and feet you accept them. Tell your stomach and thighs you accept them. Tell your mind you accept it, your voice, your eyes, your back, your bottom. If you wait until you’ve lost or gained some weight to love yourself, or if you only feel beautiful with make up on, if you set yourself conditions, you will never be able to fully love yourself. Love yourself unconditionally. Accept any changes that occur within your body. If you feel that you need to lose or gain weight, do it healthily, but love yourself every step of the way.

 

No matter what size you are, how tall you are, how large or small chested you are, how round or flat your bottom is… you should wear clothes that make you feel beautiful. If sundresses make you feel good, then fill your wardrobe with them. If bright colours make you happy, wear them. If polka dots make you want to dance, make them your signature pattern. Wear clothes that fit well. Throw out any clothes that don’t fit. Don’t keep them in your wardrobe to wear when you’re two sizes smaller. They will only depress you. If you do lose weight, buy new clothes. Don’t hold on to old ones. Make everything in your wardrobe something you want to wear now.

 

You are alive! And your body is the perfect instrument. There are so many things it can do, if you’ll let it. Do something new with it. Take up dance, start combat classes, go running, paint a picture, learn a new sport, learn how to play an instrument, sing, recite a poem, learn a new language. The possibilities are endless.

A difficult concept for me but i get it. Why do you want to do something that makes you feel bad on a regular basis? Unless you need to weigh yourself for health reasons, stop weighing yourself today. Stop making numbers your priority. Start gauging your attractiveness in a different way.

 

On a piece of paper, with your favourite pen, write a list of what makes you you. Do you love the shape of your legs? Are you a good listener? Do you have a nice voice? Write them down. Keep the list in your purse. Look at it any time you get a negative thought. I promise it will instantly make you feel better. I am hoping to make a start on my list tonight - so that i can carry it with me during the weeks ahead.

 

Choose a song that makes you want to get up and shake your booty. Put it on your mp3 player. Listen to it while you exercise. Listen to it while you get dressed for work. Hum it to yourself when you feel a bit down in the dumps. And dance to it when nobody’s watching. No fancy choreography, either. We all do this dance when we’re alone. We all feel joyous doing it. Let yourself dance like that regularly.

 

There are people in your life who will love you no matter what happens. Whatever you do they will continue to love and support you. Make these people central to your life.

And as for those people who make you feel bad…

Those people who give backhanded compliments, who spread nasty rumours and who are always negative – confront them about it. Tell them the way they make you feel. If they are worth hanging on to they will take heed of your comments and will make the effort to be more positive. If they don’t, then dump them. You do not need those people in your life. This has been a big part of my stress these past few weeks and i know that i need to take head of this.

Don’t be boastful, but accept the compliments people give you. Accept them politely, with a smile and a ‘thank you’.

Sincere comments can make the world of difference to someone who is having a low or difficult day. They can lift them up. Why not try to give everybody you meet just one compliment. Tell your colleague her dress suits her; tell the waitress you like her make up; tell your friend she has a great smile. Do it! I promise you will begin to feel better about life if you always try to find at least one thing to compliment in every person you meet.

Loving yourself means respecting your body and treating it well. This means putting good things into it. Eat fresh fruits and vegetables. Drink lots of water. If you eat meat, try to avoid the processed stuff. Try new dishes and flavours. Eat more fibre and less fat. Make yourself salads using the freshest ingredients. Also, allow yourself the occasional chocolate or glass of wine. Even pizza and french fries. Everything in moderation. Treat your body well and it’ll treat you well. And as loving yourself means being honest with yourself, this is one area that I really need to work on. 

If you are feeling down a lot of the time, if your stress levels are causing problems, if you have too much on your plate, know that you deserve to be well. Respect yourself enough to seek professional help if you need it.  Team up with those people around you who can help you, support you and be there for you during those times that you need them. If it's a shoulder to cry on, an email to make them smile or giving them the evening off by cooking dinner and washing dishes so that they don't have to - do it!

Do you know of any other ways to kick start the self-love process? I’d love to hear them!