Live Brave: December 2011

While this time of year is one of my favourites, it is also one of my busiest and i am sure it is like that for most people. While I have been running around trying to get a dozen things done before the end of next week, i found myself getting more and more frustrated and overwhelmed without even realising it. The season that is supposed to be one of happiness and merry, was becoming the opposite for me. So i stopped, took a step back and made a list of things of even little things that i could do to remind myself that even though i am busy, this is the season to be jolly!

1. Smile.

Smile at everyone and at no one in particular. Smiles are contagious, when someone smiles at you you cant help but smile back, right? So it must be true, smiling = happiness. At least for a little while.

2. The best is yet to come.

While i was growing up, i went to the same church for 18 years. The pastor at the church, Pastor Derek, sadly passed away a few months ago. He was such a loving, kind person and when someone has seen and helped you grow up, you cant help but have a special connection with them. The one thing that Pastor Derek always use to say in church was "The best is yet to come". Look ahead and not behind. Get up each morning and say to yourself, The best is yet to come. One of the best ways to start the day....well that and a cup of tea!

3. Have an attitude of gratitude.

No matter what we all have going on in our lives, there is always SOMETHING that we can be grateful for. Even if you think it is only something small, its something and it's a great place to start. Take a moment to find something to be grateful for each day and before you know it, happiness will be one step closer to you.

4. Know and use your strengths.

We all have strengths and talents and i have found that when i am doing a lot of things that fall outside of those things, i am no longer happy. Know what your strengths are and use them to your advantage when things get crazy. Not only will you find yourself feeling happier, but you will get all those things done a lot quicker.

5. Take a break.

When life gets too busy take a break. Even if its only a 2 minute break and even if you cant get away for a bit of me time. We were born with amazing imaginations and while us adults don't use them nearly enough, take a few minutes to imagine something funny, or something fun and see what that can do to lift your mood.

6. Create something.

Find something that you love and create something around it. Take some time out to create anything using your imagination and hands leaves you will a feeling of wholeness and happiness. Creating something out of nothing feels marvellous. Give it a try.

7. Take a few minutes out to help someone else.

I know, i know. We are all so busy so where do i find time to help someone else? I'm not sure, but i do know that just holding a door open for someone whose hands are full or letting someone out while sitting in traffic are just small examples of what we can do for others that doesn't necessarily take too much time out of our already busy days.

8. Take your lunch breaks.

I am the first person to throw up her hands and say that i very seldom actually move away from my desk and have a lunch break. It's not good for me on a daily basis and its not good for me as a whole. We need a break, our eyes need breaks from the screens and our minds need a break from work. Why don't you make the most of your lunch break. Have lunch with a friend, read a book or magazine, go for a walk outside or put together a list of creating options for when you get home later. Lunch breaks are there for a reason - respect yourself and take them ( And i am totally talking to myself here as well!!)

9. Clutter causes chaos.

I don't know about you but i find it difficult to relax when chaos rules. I'm not saying everything has to be perfectly in place to be happy, but i have found that by just putting one thing in its place ( or getting rid of one thing ) each day helps to reduce the chaos and increase the happiness.

10. Enjoy the moment.

This moment IS your life. You don't get any re-runs or second go's. So make the most of them and more importantly, find a way to enjoy them. Very little of our lives are made up of huge moments, the majority of life is made up of small, routine, daily moments - so make the most of them and find a way to enjoy them.

A. Age: 30

B. Bed size: Double
C. Chore that you hate: Ironing and peeling potatoes are two chores that I hate the most!! Ever since I was a little girl I would beg my mom to let me do anything but peel the potatoes.
D. Dogs: Not much of a dog person I’m afraid. Much prefer cats and other peoples dog’s.
E. Essential start to your day: Hitting the snooze button and a cup of tea. I NEVER get out of bed on the initial alarm.
F. Favourite colour: Hmmm, to be honest this changes on a regular basis. I have never had one colour which has remained my favourite. At the moment it’s a very girly pink.
G. Gold or Silver: Gold, definitely gold.
H. Height: 5'9"
I. Instruments you play: I used to play the guitar and the piano. Before my parents would get me a piano I played the keyboard and even went for a lesson. I hated every minute of it and carried on simply playing by ear.
J. Job title: Medium Enterprise Consume and Pay Credit Team Manager or ME C&P Credit TM for short
K. Kids: I would to have some one day.
L. Live: I currently in in Leicester UK, but have lived around the world including London - UK, New York - USA, Hartford CT - USA, Fairfield CT - USA, Hilton - SA, Kempton Park - SA
M. Mother’s name: Patricia Nelson-Berg
N. Nicknames: My nickname from my dad used to be and still is Ninny but other than that I didn’t have any others growing up. But now I also have Lynne Berg to add to that.
O. Overnight hospital stays: One night for a very sore stomach. I was released the next day with no real diagnoses.
P. Pet peeves: when people are late. I am almost always on time if not early and it annoys me when people are constantly late. I feel like they don't respect me when the same people are always late and leave me waiting for them!
Q. Quote from a movie: “Courage is a hard thing to figure. You can have courage based on a dumb idea or a mistake, but you are not supposed to question adults or your coach or your teacher. Because they make the rules. Maybe they know the best or maybe they don't.It all depends on who you come and where they come from. Didn't at least the six hundred guys think of giving up and joining with the other side.I mean The Valley Of Death! That's pretty salty stuff.That's why courage is tricky, should you always do what others tell you to do. Sometimes you might not even know why you do something. I mean any fool can have courage. But honour, that's the real reason you do something or you don't.Its who you are and maybe who you want to be. If you die trying for something important then you have both honour and courage and that's pretty good. I think that's what the writer was saying, that you should hope for courage and try for honour and maybe even pray that the people telling you what to do have some too" - The Blind Side
R. Right or left handed: both actually, i write with my right hand and do everything else with my left hand
S. Siblings: one younger brother
U. Underwear: hardly ever a matching set
V. Vegetable you hate: Brussels sprouts
W. What makes you run late: lovely, cozy, warm beds in winter
X. X-Rays you’ve had: I have only ever had one x-ray - on my wrist
Y. Yummy food that you make: I am a good cook. I make delicious south African dishes and all things baked.
Z. Zoo animal: The baby elephants.

This week at work, my manager decided that the four of us should all do SWOT's (Strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and Threats) on each other and then share what we have put. She has asked us to be very honest and open with each other....not the easiest thing to do when we have to all carry on working with each other. And if one person takes things especially personally and gets hurt by them, how will that affect the sensitive environment which is our work place?

The discussions that i have had within these SWOT's have been alright. Everything i pretty much agree with and i don't feel overly hurt or upset by things. However, there was a definite theme that came out within my SWOT's - a lack of confidence.

Now I will be the first person to put my hands up and say "Yes, I could definitely work on my confidence" but here are my concerns and questions around that.

My weight plays a major role in my lack of confidence in my personal life, and i think that spills over into my work life. I am currently doing a lot of work in this area and 2012 is going to be a year of wholeness for me in this area.

A few months ago I took on a new role at work. A managers position - one that I have never done before and one that i have found very challenging. I think that a person's confidence is always lower when taking on a new position, at least until they feel like they have got their feet comfortably on the ground. I am not sure how long it will take me to feel like that, I do however know that i am more confident today than i was three months ago, and i hope i will be even more confident in seven weeks time when i possibly come to the end of managers position.

Being the one on the team with the least amount of experience fuels my lack of confidence. I understand that experience comes with time and i can see that in my own journey, but honestly speaking, working with someone who has eight years experience can be very daunting - especially when they insist on taking every opportunity to remind me of my "fresh take" and therefore "less than adequate" approach to things.

And then there is my Senior, senior manager. The guy who twelve months ago said to me that he does not see me as a manager and that i would never be a successful one. Lately I have been feeling more and more confident in my ability as a manager, i have tried new things with my team which have been successful. BUT, whenever this manager comes over or is in the area, my confidence plummets to an all time low. This is one of my biggest annoyances.

So, at the moment, i am trying to find ways to work on this. To figure out how to not only build my confidence in the work place but how to prevent it dropping when confronted by certain people.

How would you tackle this? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

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