Day 14 || Today's challenge is ten things that make you really happy.
| Walking and breathing in the fresh air | Mother daughter pamper session time | Beauty products - I have a million different ones in my cabinet | Cupcakes - need I say more? | Painting my nails, each and every week | When my bed is sporting freshly washed sheets | Hot chocolate with mini marshmallows followed by a little more chocolate | Reading - especially this book | My gratitude journal | Creating art |
| Walking and breathing in the fresh air | Mother daughter pamper session time | Beauty products - I have a million different ones in my cabinet | Cupcakes - need I say more? | Painting my nails, each and every week | When my bed is sporting freshly washed sheets | Hot chocolate with mini marshmallows followed by a little more chocolate | Reading - especially this book | My gratitude journal | Creating art |
Day 13 || Issue a public aplogy
Today's challenge is to provide a public apology - be it serious or funny. So I decided to take a look through my photographs and I came across this.....Two beanie wearing wanna-be Icelanders. Now this photo of mom and dad while in Iceland definitely requires a public apology Sorry Iceland - I will refrain from sending them to visit again........at least with those beanies!
Day 12 || What do you miss?
Today's challenge is all about what I miss, be that a person, a place or a time of my life. I have done a lot of travelling so far and therefore I have a lot of people, living across the world, that I miss on a daily basis. I couldn't possibly pick just one of them to blog about so I thought I would talk about a time in my life that I miss.
Two months after I turned eighteen, i packed my bags and moved from South Africa to America. I had been dreaming about doing it for about two years prior and I was so excited about what was going to lie ahead. There is this memory that I have that I love, and that from time to time I really miss.
It's rather simple and may not seem like much when I share it, but you know why I think it is so special to me? I think its because of the feelings that go along with the memory. So, here's the memory..........
When I was in the states, I lived in Fairfield, CT and our house was out in the country side. I remember driving home, with the windows down, along a street like the picture above. The air was fresh, the sky was blue and the leaves on the tree's beautiful. I remember the number of times that I would drive along here thinking to myself how lucky I was to be living my dream, to be free and independent and to be doing exactly what I wanted to do.
That feeling right there, the one of knowing that I was living my dream, is what I miss sometimes. Now I know that life changes as you get older and while I am happy with my life as it is right now, at times I find myself missing that feeling, that knowing that where I was, was exactly where I should have been.
Day 11 || Sell yourself in ten words or less
This one was not as easy as you would think. I guess we don't normally take the time to sell ourselves. Note to self - take the time to do this a little more often, it's important.
So here goes....
Loyal - sometimes to a fault
A people person
Independent
Always striving to do my best
Logical
Considerate and kind hearted
World traveller
Big dreamer
Silly
Gods daughter
Why not join in? You can find all the challenges here.
Day 10 || Most embarrassing moment
The challenge option today is as above. Now I have a million embarrassing stories but I think I'll chose of the lesser ones to entertain you with.
As is pretty much always the case the with these moments, I found myself in a very busy shopping mall with a group of about six friends. We had just gone to see a movie and were doing a bit of shopping. We passed this gorgeous jewelry shop and I stopped to have a look in the window. All the beautiful rings were in a display cases and I wanted to see one particular ring which stood further back in the display. So I quickly lent forward to see it as my friends were starting to walk off and I whacked my head on the sheet of window glass which protected the display cabinets. My head made this awful noise as it made contact with the glass and all my friends turned round and burst into laughter....the type of laughter that comes from your belly and that you can't stop. The shop manager came out to tell me to be more careful in the future....didn't I know these were expensive rings? Ahhh, didn't he know my the bright red spot on my forehead was all that I could think about and his telling off was like background noise due to all the laughing! Shesh!
Day 9 || A moment in my day
This is one of my most favorite parts of my day - and it happens almost every day!
Work and Uni are keeping me really busy at the moment and unfortunately that means that I don't really have much spare time for blogging - something that I really enjoy doing. It has been a long weekend here in the UK and I took the opportunity to make it a little longer with a few extra days off work. While catching up on my Internet today, I came across the blog every day in May challenge and while it is already a week into May, I knew I wanted to take part. Have a look at the daily prompts and join in - I must admit, they all look pretty good to me. So I'll be jumping in at day eight and will either catch up at the end of the month or just exchange any prompts that I'm not keen on with ones that I like from the first week.
Day 8 || A piece of advice you have for others. Anything at all.
Day 8 || A piece of advice you have for others. Anything at all.
The one piece of advice that I try to share with others and live myself each day is to "Enjoy the little things". As I said earlier, my life is constantly busy. I am always on the go and I always have some sort of to-do list. But I find, that if I don't stop to take a moment, I begin to feel overwhelmed. Balance is gone in my life and it doesn't take long for it to show. But here's the advice, the one thing that I have found to make a difference. Enjoy the little things - no matter what is going on in or around your life, take the time to enjoy the little things. Look out for them, think about what small things that could make you happy, lift your spirits or put a smile on your face. For me, sometimes its as simple as breathing in the fresh air on a warm summer day, or climbing into a bed made up of freshly washed bedding. It doesn't matter what it is, just that you take the time to notice and enjoy it.
My mom has this thing about finishing what you start. For as far back as I can remember, it has always been one of her life lessons for us. The problem for me is that I love trying new things and I will go from one thing to another.......just trying them out. If I don't like it, then I move on. I don't see this as failing or as wasting or not finishing what I start but instead I see it as trying new things, figuring out what I love and don't love, what I am good at and what I am not, its an adventure.
Having said that, there are definitely areas in my life where this lack of finishing is not beneficial and I know that I need to put more effort into focusing on what needs doing and just do it.
This month I have been taking part in my own 31 Days and I have been enjoying it but two weeks ago something came along that I wasn't expecting. It's fantastic and it is going to be life changing for me. I am loving what I have done so far and I know deep down, that this is the right thing for me to putting my effort and focus on at the moment. Due to this, I have decided to stop doing the 31 Days posts and take the time that I would have spent posting every single day and focus that on this new thing, this blessing that is going to require work to see benefits - but whose benefits are going to far out weigh the decision to end this 31 Day challenge early.
So I am going to end this post with a challenge.... Are you doing what you know you should be doing or are you going with the flow? I am learning that sometimes you have to say no to things in life in order to say yes to other things. So be brave, and say Yes - even when you know you will have to go back and say No to something else!
Integrity is defined as
adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character ; honesty
Integrity is a noun - a doing word. It requires someone to take action, to do things on purpose. It comes from deep within and greatly speaks to who you are as a person.
It breaks my heart to say this but I work for a company in which Integrity is a no show. The people who are in a position to make decisions, to change peoples lives, conduct themselves in such a way in which Integrity does not appear to be a part of their moral compass. Personal gain far outweighs values, and the people who are in a position to make changes seem to lack the courage to stand up for what is right.
I'm not perfect in this department, but my Integrity is very important to me. I believe in doing things correctly ...even when no one is watching, I believe in being honest about things and I believe in justice. Decency and fairness are an integral part of my day.....and right now I am finding myself working in a department and for a company where none of this matters. To be honest, the opposite actions of Integrity are rewarded rather than challenged and people are being recognised for performance achieved through cheating and underhanded practises.
I have come to realise that I can't continue to work in this environment. The daily conflict that i find myself in is exhausting and I am finding that I am miserable by the time home time rolls around.
Hello job hunting - here I come!
Life would be no fun if all we did was work. Now working full time and studying part time really doesn't leave me much time to play, but I have found that if I don't put aside time to do things that make me happy and help me to relax, then I very quickly find myself out of balance. So, over the past three days I have make an effort to take time out to play. To have fund. To do things that make me feel alive.
Nothing is finished just yet, but when it is I will definitely share. Tell me, what have you done this weekend to play?
This morning was a morning of obstacles for me. Nothing major but it was obvious enough to make me think about it. This morning was an adventure. I got in my car, typed in the postcode and headed for a village that I have never been to before.
Now I know that I had my handy Tomtom, but obstacles still came flooding my way. First one of the roads were closed and I had to find another, then the police had barricaded another, then I drove straight past the shop I wanted and realised I was on one big one-way route.
What made me smile, was that each time I had to find another way round. A new plan had to be made and at some points I was simply going with the flow and hoping for the best. This is what life is like sometimes. Obstacles that need to be overcome and choices that need to be made. You can either stop dead in your tracks, or you can find another way.
Obstacles are not always a bad - if anything, they are an opportunity. Embrace them. Make the most of them.
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Forgiveness is a difficult thing. Just when you think you have a handle on it something happens to prove that you don't. This is me. I thought that I had forgiven, that I moved on, released the past. But then words were said to me and I found myself right back there, feeling hurt and defensive and all of a sudden realizing that despite my best efforts, perhaps I hadn't truly forgiven.
I have found that forgiveness requires a period of grieving and accepting the end of what I had hoped for, of what had never happened and now never happen. I've been there and done that. I also thought that I had forgiven the hurt caused but I now realize that this is something I am going to need to work on. Maybe it's more the hurt that I haven't worked through rather than the forgiveness....I'm not entirely sure. What I do know, is that whenever things do come up I feel like I am being cut to the core once again.
Part of me would stand straight up and tell you that I have every right to feel this way, that I was hurt beyond what anyone should be and that my feelings are even more justified as the person who caused this pain is oblivious to it, doesn't acknowledge the wrong doing. BUT my spirit also knows that this is not how I should live my life, that Grace is free to me and that I should extend this gift. I ask God to help me forgive once again.
I can't help but wonder if part of the problem is that perhaps I haven't yet fully forgiven myself either. Forgiven myself for the situation, for staying there, for allowing myself to get so hurt by it all.
I know that there is work to be done here, and perhaps its not going to be a one time thing but rather an everyday thing. But the thing is that I don't want my life to get stuck in this point, to miss out on my future because I have been unable to let go of the past.
You know what I love about the first few moments of waking up in the morning? Those initial feelings of calmness and peace. Moments where nothing in your day has yet started. Your just you. Free from the worries of yesterday, unaware of the troubles that potentially lie ahead. It is in these moments where I get to make a fresh start, no matter what took place the day before, no matter what decisions I made or actions I took, yesterday is gone and today is a brand new fresh start.
So, what are you going to do with your fresh start today?
This morning I woke up to such an amazing email - I have won a place on Soul Restoration 2.
Thank you ladies and thank you Lord for this opportunity.
After yesterdays post I thought it would be good to do something a little lighter....
* Thing you cannot leave the house without? My iPhone.
* Favorite brand of makeup? MAC, although it is on the expensive side.
* Favorite flower? White roses or lily's
* Favorite clothing store? OK, I know your not going to believe this but I'm not a fan of clothing stores at the moment.
* Favorite perfume? D'jore, but again very expensive.
* Heels or flats? I am 5'9 so I very seldom wear heels....and anyway, flats are way more comfortable!
* Do you make good grades? I do alright, although next year I need to do better!
* Favorite colors? Pink and brown together, egg shell blue
* Do you drink energy drinks? Nope.
* Do you drink juice? Most days as it helps me drink more water.
* Do you like swimming? I grew up in the pool so I love swimming, but getting into a cosie is another story.
* Do you eat fries with a fork? Fries are meant to be eaten with your fingers, at least in our family.
* Favorite moisturizer? Body Shop's sweat pea body butter
* Do you want to get married later on in life? See yesterdays post, I just don't know.
* Do you get mad easily? Not at all. I'm pretty laid back and don't take things too personally.
* Are you into ghost hunting? Nope
* Any phobias? The dentist
* Do you bite your nails? No, but I do apparently grind my teeth
* Have you ever had a near death experience? Nope
* Do you drink coffee? Only at my parents place
* Thing you cannot leave the house without? My iPhone.
* Favorite brand of makeup? MAC, although it is on the expensive side.
* Favorite flower? White roses or lily's
* Favorite clothing store? OK, I know your not going to believe this but I'm not a fan of clothing stores at the moment.
* Favorite perfume? D'jore, but again very expensive.
* Heels or flats? I am 5'9 so I very seldom wear heels....and anyway, flats are way more comfortable!
* Do you make good grades? I do alright, although next year I need to do better!
* Favorite colors? Pink and brown together, egg shell blue
* Do you drink energy drinks? Nope.
* Do you drink juice? Most days as it helps me drink more water.
* Do you like swimming? I grew up in the pool so I love swimming, but getting into a cosie is another story.
* Do you eat fries with a fork? Fries are meant to be eaten with your fingers, at least in our family.
* Favorite moisturizer? Body Shop's sweat pea body butter
* Do you want to get married later on in life? See yesterdays post, I just don't know.
* Do you get mad easily? Not at all. I'm pretty laid back and don't take things too personally.
* Are you into ghost hunting? Nope
* Any phobias? The dentist
* Do you bite your nails? No, but I do apparently grind my teeth
* Have you ever had a near death experience? Nope
* Do you drink coffee? Only at my parents place
That's today's theme for sure. I just don't know. I just don't know. I have a lot on my mind and I'm tired of feeling as if I am never finding the answers, especially when it feels like everyone else has been "let in on the secret" except me. I just don't know.
I just don't know what I am going to do about my job situation. I'm grateful for the job I have, for the fact that it helps me to pay my bills, but I'm miserable 5 days a week. I hate the politics, I hate the constant stress levels, I hate the beyond high expectations and the ever increasing work load. I know what job I want to do but there just hasn't yet been any opportunities open for me. I don't want to stay but I don't know where to go or what to do. I just don't know.
I just don't know how to lose this weight. I mean I know how in my head, but practically I just don't know. I keep trying but it only takes one occasion of "badness" that unravels all my hard work. I keep thinking I need to try to find something to motivate me but I just don't know. I consider the option of thin photos of my....but isn't that just reinforcing the fact that I hate how my body looks right now. I can't really say that is motivation. I've thought about rewarding myself with money which will go towards this course that I want to do,but that says that if I don't lose the weight then I'm just not worth the money to pay for the course. I just don't know. I just don't know. My weight is such a major area of negativity, sadness and depression for me and yet I don't know what to do.
I just don't know what to eat for lunch this week at work. I know - a small issue by anyone's means but when you combine this with the weight issues above it seems a lot bigger. Too cold for salads, my soup didn't turn out like soup. I just don't know.
I just don't know what I am supposed to do with my life. I don't know what my purpose is. Having a family was always a part of my plan but now I just don't know. It doesn't seem to be happening and if I'm honest, I don't see how it is going to happen. If I have no children, no husband, then what's the point of my life. Doing the job that I am doing means that I am hardly changing lives, no where near making a difference in this world. What am I supposed to do? I just don't know.
There are many more "I just don't knows" going through my head. I feel like I am torn between where I am and where I feel I should be, between how I feel and how I should feel.
I just don't know. I just don't know.
Today I'm just letting this song speak to me.........
I'm not sure about you but having encouraging words surround me really lifts my spirits and reminds me of things which are important to me. I always find that whenever I am in a funk or find myself a little low, spending some time searching through quotes always lifts me and inspires me.
If you don't yet have a few good quotes around you, take some time this weekend and find a few that you love!
