Last weekend my mom and I found this beautiful reservoir a short drive from her house. I fell in love with it the moment I saw it....you see, it reminded me of when I lived in the states. My best friend and I used to treat ourselves ever so often, we would grab an ice cream from Dairy Queen and make our way to the local beach. It wasn't the type of beach that you would swim in or ride the waves on, it was however a great place to sit, think and just talk.  I have missed having that special place - a place to just get away and breath.  Anyway, the moment I saw this place I knew that this would become my get away.  It's a little way from my place, but it will be worth the drive - especially in summer.

 These past few weeks I have had a lot on my mind.  I took some time off work and headed off to a caravan by the ocean - my very first solo holiday. My main reason for this break was to do some soul searching.... I have been looking for some answers, some direction for what feels like years now and more importantly I just needed to do this.

Well, the weather was horrible, it rained every day. BUT, i came away feeling like I had some direction. I knew what I needed to do and the timescale to which I was going to push to get it completed... and I was very pleased.  And then I came home and as much as I was consciously trying not to just get swept back into life, I think it happened anyway. 

So here I sit. I know what the plan is. I know what I need to do and when I need to do it. But here's the catch....it means more waiting.  I feel like i have spent the past four years waiting.  Waiting for time to pass, for my heart to heal and for me to work through my baggage. Waiting to meet THE one.....or even just A one.  Waiting to complete my degree. Waiting to pay off my loans. Waiting to buy a house and then to get a cat. Waiting to have my own beautiful children. Waiting for a new job. Waiting to finally lose the weight. Waiting to make good friends. Waiting, waiting and more waiting..... it's becoming a little exhausting. I'm tired of waiting - I desperately want some action. But I know I need to be careful not to push myself into any situations....because then I could end up in more trouble than I need.

So here I am, trying to find a way to live my life while waiting for all my hopes, dreams and desires to come true.  Trying to take it one day at a time.....and sometimes even one minute at a time.