You know when you have those moments where you hear something or read something and the power of those words hits you squarely in your soul?  That's what happened to me this afternoon.

I was taking a break from TMA 06, catching up on some blogs and I came across this message from Jillian Michaels.  It stopped me in my tracks.

Why not me?  I read through it over and over again and each time i felt my that part of myself completely identify with the reasons why it wasn't me, the reasons why it could possibly not be me....especially the healthy love and the healthy body.  Why is it that, if i am being completely honest with myself, that i feel as if i don't deserve these things?  I should know that i am special, that i am unique, that i am the daughter of my heavenly Father and for that reason alone i have value and worth.  And yet i don't feel like i should, like i don't deserve any of it.  Like it cant possibly be me who could get these things.  And then another layer to this hits me and i realise that while i feel as if i don't deserve any of it, the honest truth is that i don't.  It's only by grace that i deserve these things, and yet while i know that God's grace is for everyone, i still don't feel like i should be able to tap into this grace thing. Clearly, this needs reconciling and perhaps i wont ever get past this if i don't find a way to reconcile my shortcomings with God's grace.  

The only thing that i know for sure is that in an ideal world i do deserve all the above and more.  And i know that i wont be able to get there on my own so Lord, please help me.