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I have now been single for just over three and a half years. I have a new job that i find challenging and stressful yet, for the most part, enjoyable.  I have made more steps forward than i can count including getting my credit status improved and having things around me which leave me feeling comfortable like a safety net savings account. I have a little car who is my very first car and i live in a beautiful one bedroom flat on the outskirts of both town and the countryside.

And while i have all of this there are still times where i find myself lonely, down, depressed and questioning. I know that the one area in which i lack is relationships, don't get me wrong i have friends and family who care about me - but i don't have that special man in my life and i don't have those "girlfriends" that i always wanted.  Most of my true friends (those who really know me and get me) are in different countries and so this is how i find myself where i am today.

Normally i am very good with being by myself. Spending time with myself and doing things alone are not much of a problem for me. I know who i am and what i need to work on and while i am trying to find a way to work on those things, i am finding myself down in the dumps today.

And then i remembered two things.  The first is that over the past few weeks i seem to be coming across the same lesson over and over. That lesson is that its not simply enough to read or listen to what you need to do to bring about changes you actually have to put together an action plan and then DO IT!  Ideas without action are just that.....ideas.  The second thing that i remembered was this post that i read a few days ago about fighting the blues while wondering if this is it.  I cant remember where i saw it so apologies for not being able to give the appropriate credit but this is what i remember from that post and these are the actions that i plan to take to get me to where i need to be....

* Compartmentalize the suck

List the activities in your life that you do on a daily basis - cooking, cleaning, commuting, studying.  I am sure it would be fair to say that some of these activities would carry more sucky weight than others.  Take some time and have a good think about those aspects of your daily life that are bringing you down; experiment a little bit with compartmentalizing the suck.  For example, how would i feel if i left everything the same but didn't watch TV?  How would i feel if i left everything that but walked to walk?

Once you have pinpointed those areas which suck the most, work to lesson or remove them from your life.  If its the drive to work that gets you down, bike it or get an awesome podcast to listen to. If you hate ironing, look at getting someone else to do it.  The opportunities are endless - just think outside the box.

* Get rid of the TV

This is huge for me and one that i am seriously contemplating.  TV shows promote unrealistic lifestyles and body types.  Time seems to slip into a black hole when you turn that thing on.  

Instead of spending hours in front of the TV, consider spending time with friends, going for a run or trying a new exercise class, try a new restaurant, volunteer somewhere or try a complicated recipe.  If you need something a little more relaxed take a bubble bath, read a book, have a quiet time, listen to the radio or a podcast, Skype with friends in different countries.  

The idea here is not necessarily to give up all TV time, but consider watching only those programmes that you really enjoy, or watching only an hour of TV a day during the week and the same or two hours per day over the weekend. 

* Craft some fantastic new goals

Your life is only what it is if you decide it is!

Think about the things in life that really excite you. Travel, fashion, study - whatever it is, set yourself some goals involving those things that excite you. Remember that where you currently are, is only one phase of your live, tomorrow or in a weeks time or even in five years time, you may find yourself in a completely different phase in your life.  If you don't like this phase, work hard to move onto the next one!

* Do new things

If you find that you truly are not in a position to navigate yourself out of your current phase of life, then consider instead doing mini-new things!

How about a new recipe, a new vegetable or type of meat, a new body wash, a different park or drink at Starbucks.  When we start making mini changes we begin to realise that the world does not actually come crashing to a halt. With each mini-new thing you try, you begin to build your confidence to try bigger and better new things.

And so, after reading all of this i couldn't walk away without putting together an action plan for at least the week ahead.

* Watch no more than 1 hour of TV an evening

* Have a pamper evening