Just four days into this months journey and today has been completely off track from what I had planned. Today sort of got away from me, so I wanted to take some time and reflect on what had happened, what had triggered the changes; and I came up with two main things.  The first was a trial and error problem and not enough preparation.What I mean by that is I made a decision to try some new recipes for my lunches at work and while I did make them, I didn't enjoy them. I ate one of the four meals and couldn't face the second one today.  This shouldn't have been enough to derail me, however here I sit and I have no idea what I am going to eat tomorrow. I have no salad in my fridge which makes any sort of  work lunch difficult. I now realise that while its good to try new recipes, I needed to have had a back up plan. A "just in case" dish to prevent carnage.  The second lesson that I realised is that despite very good attempts by myself, I still need much more practise at not letting other peoples comments affect me to the point of self sabotage.  I posted a new picture of myself on Instagram over the weekend, and the other night I got a text message from my ex ( who I haven't seen in months) and he tells me that he thinks I look really old and my skin doesn't look great in that photo. I tried not to let it bother me, I tried for his comments not to affect my mood or my thoughts but I wasn't as successful as I had hoped to be.  So lesson number two is that I need a plan for situations like that. I need to find a way to really not care, to not let it throw me or my value.
Right now I cant change how I decided to behave today, I cant change the fact that I pigged out and ate chocolates to the point of feeling sick and having tummy ache, of missing dinner so that I could instead just eat rubbish. But what I can do, is take those lessons learnt, figure out a back up plan and face tomorrow with a fresh start and positive thoughts and attitudes.
There are going to be bumps along the journey, and I realise that this is just one of many. I want to document the journey, so that I can see how far I have come and I am hoping that at some point, my journey will help someone else with theirs.