Part of my journey towards health this year is focusing on being kinder to myself. In just two short months I have found that this obvious yet often very difficult action makes my journey towards health much more pleasurable and manageable day to day.

I've decided to do a bit of a series on my experience with being kinder to myself and the impact that this has on my healthiness journey.  Right now I'm not entirely sure how regular these instalments will be but for now I am thinking I will probably add to the series every 1-2 months.

Just like my health journey, being kind to myself is also a journey. It is not easy and sometimes I have had to be very intentional about it. Some days have been better than others but each day I am learning something new. I am learning what works for me and sometimes, what doesn't work for me. This is going to be a lifelong process but I know that it will be worth the effort.

At the start of the year I realised that being kind to myself meant focusing on my thoughts and self talk and so, when I found my thoughts were negative or mean towards myself I carved out some time that evening and spent a bit of time journaling. Capturing what I was thinking, how I was feeling, how those thoughts were impacting me and what my coping mechanisms were during this time.  It was definitely a very interesting read. I always find it very bizarre to see things in writing because when you are thinking things we often accept them as fact, yet write them down and read them out loud and you will be genuinely surprised at how harsh and untrue (if that is a real word) your thoughts actually are.

The first thing that I noticed from my journaling is that the times when I was being the least kind to myself was when my thinking was what I would call "black and white".  Its all or nothing.  My thoughts were telling me that "I would either never be pretty enough for a guy to love me" or "I have failed so far at loosing this weight why would this ever change....regardless of how much I try". These thoughts weren't doing me any good or encouraging me.  They were in fact pulling me down further, putting obstacles in my path that I really didn't need.

I realised that for me, this all or nothing thinking is a sign that I am being too harsh on myself. To be kind to myself, I need to instead look for the grey. Look for the areas or instances where I could cut myself a break.  I don't always need to be perfect or do everything to an expert level. I have been learning that it's OK and even fun to be a beginner - to make mistakes, to do something "badly".

This grey area gives me permission to try something new without expecting perfection from myself. To develop my strengths and skills. To make mistakes. To figure out what I do and don't enjoy. To be kind to myself when I need it the most.

This month I am committing to living more in the grey areas. To focus on being kind to myself when I notice my thinking becoming all or nothing.  It wont be easy and I know that at times I will mess up but its a journey and journey's are seldom smooth.  I would love it if you joined me or left me a comment about what you have been doing to be kinder to yourself these past few months.